The title for this post just came to me as I clicked on "new post". I think maybe it sums up the past 6 weeks.
First, the good. I've decided to return to school. Something I never imagined I would do at 45. I am going for my masters in special education. Over the years, I have become fascinated with kids who are autistic or have Asperger's Syndrome. I would just love to get inside their minds and figure out how they think and how I can help them adapt to living a "normal" life. (What is normal anyway? I dislike that word!)
This school year I have so many special needs students that I've been drawn into their world even further. So I made the big decision to go back to school. If I'm going to do it, now is the best time. For one thing, I should be done before Sam goes to college. Plus, I feel that the future of our type of preschool is questionable, and therefore, I should prepare now for a new job. Also, if I feel led in the direction of working with special needs kids, then I think I should follow my interests, my heart and most of all, God's calling on my life.
Thankfully, I have Eric's full support in this! Especially since I gave my resignation at work, effective the end of this school year. I know I wouldn't do a good job balancing school, work, and parenting. Something had to go and obviously it had to be my job. I will terribly miss being with the little ones and my coworkers, but I know it's for a good reason.
Next, the bad. Almost a month ago, I was in bed for two days with an awful headache, nausea and dizziness. Since then I have felt off balance and slightly dizzy. Looking at the TV or computer screen bother me sometimes and riding in a car can make me dizzy. In fact, poor Eric had to be my chauffeur for three weeks! After seeing my doctor, an ENT and having a CAT scan of my sinuses done, we think we have a diagnosis. The ENT believes I have Meniere's Disease, which is an inner ear disorder. I have 3 out of the 4 symptoms. You can read about Meniere's here.
It's not a fatal condition, but there isn't a cure. For some people it can become very debilitating. In fact, I could eventually lose my hearing in my right ear. The ENT prescribed something for my dizziness, and he told me to go on a low sodium diet. This will reduce my body's fluid retention and decrease the fluid in my inner ear. I have to see my ENT again in about 3 weeks. If I do have Meniere's Disease, then I can look forward to "attacks" of vertigo for the rest of my life. Swell.
Now, for the ugly. And when I say ugly, I mean UGLY! Just prior to the "bad" I came down with this horrible looking, itchy, scaly rash on my face and one side of my neck. In fact, my neck looked and felt like I had a really bad sunburn. I had to put an ice pack on it one day. I had this for about a week. Then it went away when my doctor prescribed a steroid for me, only to return as soon as I finished the medication. I ended up seeing a dermatologist. He thought that I came into physical contact with something that caused an allergic reaction. What that something was we don't know. I've ended up changing all of my hair and facial products and am now using all allergy free products. Some of them I can't even get in stores and have to order them online instead. Expensive and a pain!
I have pictures of the "ugliness", but I'm not so sure I want to share them. I had to go for days without using makeup or hairspray. I keep wondering if God was trying to humble me for some reason. I'm not a real "girly" girl, but I do like to have my face on and my hair in place. I didn't want to go out looking like I did because I was embarrassed and because I didn't want to creep people out. Thankfully this all happened around the time that we had several snow days, so I didn't have to miss too much work. I did end up taking a couple of days off because I didn't want to scare my students or their parents.
So there you have it...the good, the bad and the ugly of me (minus hideous photos)...or why I've been MIA lately. I'd like to definitely say that I'm back, however, for the next two months work and school will be overlapping. I have to take one class beginning right after Easter in order to finish my master's in time to be considered under the current state certification requirements. (They're getting ready to change them!) I also may have to take a class this summer. So if you see a pile of papers sitting around in the near future, lift it up to see if I'm buried underneath!
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