Thursday, April 23, 2009

When God Says No

Each morning our staff meets together around a short table meant for preschool children. We sit in small chairs and have a time of devotion, prayer and fellowship. On Monday, the devotion that was read was about how God will sometimes tell us no for our own good.

The author was lamenting over not being able to have a second child. She kept praying for another child, but her womb remained closed. After several years, she came to the conclusion that God was saying no because He knew what was best for her. He knew that her only daughter would require her attention and care which would be compromised if he blessed her with another child. Instead, God blessed this mom by saying no.

This, of course, hit a chord with me in light of my miscarriage. I always felt that I was supposed to have three children, was amazed when I became unexpectedly pregnant at 43, and felt betrayed by God when I lost the baby. I know God has a plan for my life; even the struggles and disappointments are for reasons only known by Him. Sometimes He fills us in on His reasons; other times He won't give us a single clue.

Prior to the reading of this devotion, our staff prayed and I asked for prayer for my oldest son. We had a difficult evening with him on Friday night, and I've decided to talk to our family doctor about it. Depression runs in my family, and I'm seeing signs of it in him. As I sat at that tiny table and listened to this story being read, a light bulb went on in my head. Did God say no about a third child so that I may focus on my first child? If He had said yes, I would be giving birth in about 2 weeks. My attention would be elsewhere and not on my first born. The baby would have been about 4 months old when my oldest son would be starting high school and my youngest son would be starting middle school. Having two kids transitioning to new schools and having an infant could prove to be hard.

In reality, God did give me a third child, but instead of being earth bound, he or she is our little angel baby. I'm anticipating Heaven more than ever now! I'll get to meet Jesus, my brother (who died a year prior to my birth), and my precious little one all at the same time! What a reception I'm going to have! God's no now can mean a celebration of unproportional measure later! He makes good of our suffering and sorrow.

For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all. 2Corinthians 4:17

1 comment:

Sheryl said...

We may never why God allows what He allows, but how great that we can trust His heart in all His choices!!